My Secret Friend

I bore my heartache silently
kept it close, kept it hidden
I even kept it safe from the world
I made it my own little secret
and there for
turned it into something special
for only me
I personified it
made it my own companion
something I could talk to
something that could fill the empty space
something I dared to call a friend
my feelings became a muse
something to inspire
both my art and my words
and a dream to enchant my spirit
I made it into something beautiful
and never a real person;
one of flesh and blood
of breath and voice
could ever fill his place..
but dare I call this feeling love?
for he is a creature of my own creation
but never did that make him
any less real... to my heart.
and is it fair to any other
who might compete for that place
where he now lingers?
is it fair to myself
for you are but a specter
One who can never
hold me touch me
and yet one who has touched me
in so many ways...
and so I shall bare my thoughts silently
I shall keep you close
I shall keep you hidden
I shall keep you something special
For only me...
For there are times
You are my only companion.